Of all the deadly sins, lust is the most dangerous. This is because one of our most valued concept, love, can turn into lust without us realizing. People do irrational things for love. We kill for the ones we love. If someone you didn’t know hurts someone close to you, out of love, you would want to harm done to that person. We have celebrity fans who become fascinated and obsessed with their idols that they become stalkers, hoping for a chance that the celebrity will love them back. I don’t blame them. Sure they’re crazy, but unrequited love is one of the toughest aspects of life. Ultimately, however, it is important to reclaim your thoughts and not let your lust for someone control you and shape you into a person you’re not.
Unrequited love affects us in several ways. The first is that it lowers our self-esteem. Finding love is a two-step process. First, you have to be attracted to the person. Second, they have to be attracted to you. Now if it only goes one way, then one side is going to feel pretty damn awful. In dealing with the rejection, you question your attractiveness and become more willing to pointing out your negative qualities.
Your fascination and desire for a person may grow when they become someone you know you can’t have. This is the part of life when love turns into lust. When we realize we can’t have something, our cravings for it grow stronger. No longer are they seen as a crush but rather a prize we seek. Getting them to love you becomes a challenge; one we think we can accomplish. As a result, we end up doing things we normally would not do.
Our rationality is challenged when we come face to face with unrequited love. In order to appease our crushes, we may do things that is unlike us. We could participate in hobbies that we may not like; try to gain an acquired taste for food we normally do not eat; force ourselves into social groups of friends to be closer to the person. We think that by molding ourselves into a person with similar qualities, we will become more attractive to them. Unfortunately, this will only cause you to lose your identity and a sense of who you are.
It’s not worth it. Sure unrequited love sucks but erasing your identity is worse and can feel shameful. By lusting and fawning over someone you know will never love you back, you are essentially relinquishing your self-worth and self-control. You are telling another person that they can manipulate you into doing whatever, as long as you are with them. It’s harsh but is losing your dignity worth the lust? Probably not. With so many people out there looking for love, you are bound to find someone who will treat you the way you want to be treated.
With that said, I want to leave you with a quote I found while scouring the web.
“Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.”
Have faith that love will come. And give up on your unrequited love because it makes no sense to seek it.
Happy Valentines Day.
Photo Credit: Mending a Broken Heart